Here's a post from my personal blog that I wanted to share on Look Up! I originally posted it on February 24, 2012.

My souvenirs from the E.R. (Har, har, har.)

What a week! Some of you know that I began experiencing severe-and I'm talkin' E.X.T.R.E.M.E!!!-abdominal pain last Wednesday afternoon that sent me to the Emergency Room.  This was a complication of some problems I've had for the last month.  After a few tests, several vials of blood, and a bunch of poking and prodding from a very ornery nurse, I was sent home with no conclusive answers as to what was wrong.  I had hope that the worst was over only to get home and become violently ill.  No need to paint you all a picture of what happened but it was wicked.  I hadn't been sick like that since I had an intestinal infection six years ago.
After 24 more hours and 45 trips to the bathroom, I was back in the ER because I couldn't keep anything down and was dehydrated.  They released me just after midnight and I went home to get 5 hours of unsettled sleep before it was time to be up and back to IMC for an abdominal MRI.  Man, was I tired. And not only me, my dear mother, who was sick with a nasty cold herself, was exhausted.
Thankfully my MRI came back normal, but I still don't know what's wrong with me.  Since last week the possibilities have been narrowed down to a few options. It will take a few weeks to talk to doctors, get tests scheduled and completed, and get results.
Through the first few days of this latest trial, I was very scared.  I was feeling pain I'd never felt before, sickness that I hadn't had in years, and my thoughts couldn't get off all the bad that was happening to me in that moment.  My mind zoomed in on the past, where my illness had lasted 3 months, to the future, where I thought I was never going to get better, where nothing would ever change.  I was anxious, and I struggled with the fact that I couldn't feel the spirit and felt like God had once again abandoned me.  How can you let this happen?!? I cried.  Please don't make me go through this again!  Why, with everything else that's happened to me in my life and with how little I have right now, would you do this to me?
You see, I believe everything happens for a reason, probably a little (or maybe a lot) more than I should.  I don't believe in coincidence or luck.  I don't believe bad things happen without a real purpose behind them either.  And at this particular time I prayed aloud, "What is the purpose of this?!? What good is supposed to come from this?!"  I couldn't help it; I was too distraught.  At this point I awful because I wasn't, "enduring well", or, "cheerfully" my adversity. I  felt like a spoiled child, whining, complaining, kicking and screaming my whole way through.
Looking back, I can now see that my initial response and emotions weren't because I was an unfaithful person, they were because I was a human being experiencing opposition.  God doesn't expect us to always immediately submit cheerfully to our problems.  Some people may be able to do that, and all power to 'em, but if God expected that we all do that all the time in order to be saved, then none of us would be making it to the Celestial Kingdom.
What I'm saying is that it's okay to have hard times, and to let ourselves feel our true emotions, while at the same time trusting that our Savior is walking with us, helping us all the way through, even when we may not feel Him, even when we aren't happy with our own performance. We can be scared and trust in Him at the same time. And it's going through the fear and doubt and sorrow and coming out on the other side of them; seeing that God has been there all along, and feeling the love and joy from getting to that place, that is the real lesson and gift here.
I don't know yet what the ultimate cause of my problems are, but I believe that the answer is out there.  It may come after a lot of trial and error tests, tears and smiles, disappointments and hopes.  It may be needed that I spend a certain amount of time, money and energy in order to find the answers.  In the end, I have faith that none of that will be wasted.  This will turn out.  Answers will be found, treatment set forth and, I do believe, some sort of restoration of health given.  I give this all to Him, who knows and has all the answers. He'll give them, in His time.
I hope we can all have the courage to do the same.

What great challenge caused you a lot of fear and doubt, and what did you ultimately learn from it?