Look Up!: Life is like a piano...

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Life is like a piano...

Last week I underwent my 9th surgery (5 within the past 2 years)...
* Ear Tubes * Appendix * Gallbladder * KneeX3 * Jaw-Bilateral * Hernia RepairX2 *
I haven't had the best of luck when it come to my health ever since I turned 16. It seems my life was absolutely perfect up until this point, when I moved away from what I called home, Austin, Texas. Life was great, my gymnastics couldn't have been better as I was on the road to accomplishing my goals and dreams of being a member of the US Gymnastics Team. I loved school, I had a great group of friends and my ward was awesome - life was just dandy.
Then, all at once, it seemed, I was faced with trial after trial. My health went downhill, I spent weeks upon weeks in the hospital. I didn't have a normal junior or senior year, spending much of my time with a tutor in a hospital bed instead of a normal high school classroom. My family moved and then moved again, 6x in 4 years. I watched my younger brother go down the wrong path. My gymnastics dreams were slipping away as I lost strength and skill, then, just when I thought I was getting back on track, I blew out my knee. I haven't completed college as quickly as I planned because of these set backs. This is just a small glimpse of everything I had to deal with.
But these years are behind me and as I look back on all I have dealt with, it is hard to believe all that I have been through and conquered. I look at the person I am today...

I am stronger.
I am braver.
I am more aware of how much the Lord loves me.
I better understand the power of the atonement.
My testimony has been strengthened with every challenge.
I am more understanding and willing to serve those around me.
I am a better person and have had the power to overcome trials through my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love the following quote....

The black keys have strengthened me to become who I am today. They have brought meaning and purpose into my life. Without them, I wouldn't have been able to create a beautiful masterpiece. Without the black keys in our life, without the sadness, heartache, and challenges, we cannot grow to become more like our Heavenly Father. Our life becomes more meaningful and more beautifully perfected as we are given challenges to overcome. The beauty is, we aren't left to endure and bare these hard times alone; Heavenly Father is with us all along the way.

"And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort...
"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage....and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions." -Mosiah 24:13-14

My Surgery went really well. I discovered my first hernia back in November of 2011. I found a lump and not sure what to think of it, called the doctor. At the same time, I realized I was losing weight at an unhealthy level; I lost 25 lbs in 2 months! I went from doctor to doctor and they all wanted to pass me onto someone else because they didn't know what it was. Finally, In January, I re-mentioned it to my GI doctor and he examined me; immediately, without thinking twice, he says "Oh, that's a hernia". So he referred me to Dr. Tittensor for surgery. Then, In March I went in for a repair. The harnia was much larger then she thought, in fact, it was bigger then any she had ever seen in someone as petite and athletic as I. She had to double mesh it to be sure it wouldn't pop back out of place. It was probably the toughest recovery of all my surgeries and I was restricted from doing much for about 6-8 weeks. I remember laying there the first night after surgery in the hospital bed, pleading for comfort, wondering why I had to endure such great pain. I felt so alone and helpless. This was when I truly understood the fullness of the atonement. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered for all of us.

"And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Luke 22:44

"Arise and come forth unto me, that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet, that ye may know that I am the God of Israel, and the God of the whole death, and have been slain for the sins of the world." 3Nephi 11:14

In doing so [suffering], Christ “descended below all things”—including every kind of sickness, infirmity, and dark despair experienced by every mortal being—in order that He might “comprehend all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth.” -Elder Jeffrey R Holland

The atonement is not only for those who have sinned, but for those who are afflicted and sick. In this moment, I felt the Saviors love all around me. He was there by my side. He brought me comfort and reminded me of his great suffering. He knew EXACTLY what I was feeling. He felt my hurt. He shed tears even as I. He suffered much more than any of us can even comprehend. I knew at this moment, I was not alone. I realized that this time would pass, I would regain my strength and the pain would subside. I was able to sleep a little after this. I felt a greater love for my Savior in being there with me that night, when I felt so alone and so incredibly uncomfortable due to my pain levels. I was comforted.

My more recent hernia repair was performed by Dr. Rasmussen - also a great surgeon who was referred to me by Dr. Tittensor. He was able to go in and make the repair. It took about 2 hours because of the complexity of having to work around the previous repair, but my prayers were answered. He fixed it. And according the to beautiful blessing my cousin, Brandon, gave me, it was a permanent fix. I was admitted to the hospital with this repair as well. My blood pressure was dangerously low, therefor, I was unable to receive any type of pain medication the first night. Yeah, you try going without ANY pain medication right after a surgery...It was not a fun night! But again, I was comforted my my Heavenly Father and knew that this too shall pass. And it did. I am now at home, on the road to recovery. I am still having my bad moments, but things are looking up!

I must endure the "black key" moments in my life and know that they are only there to help create a beautiful masterpiece which makes me who I am today. They say practice makes perfect. The more you endure, and the more you are able to see the good in life, the better you will be able to handle challenges that come your way. The better you will become at playing the black keys which help create your own masterpiece!

2 comments:

LisaOctober 26, 2012 at 8:14 AM
What a beautiful analogy with the piano. I loved it and am going to pass it along. I'm Robyn's cousin and am sorry for the pain and suffering you two have been through. I hope you keep recovering well. My prayers are with you.
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This is Us!

We're two best friends who were put in each other's lives for a special purpose. We later realized our uncanny connection was more than uncanny! Together we have endured years of chronic health problems that have allowed us to be strengthened and polished by the Lord. In the process we have only grown closer to Him and to each other. We know that everyone has their own crosses to bear and it is through this blog that we hope to inspire and strengthen others.

LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson’s encouragement to "Look up!" is a metaphor for remembering Christ. As we remember Him and trust in His power, we receive strength through His Atonement. It is the means whereby we can be relieved of our anxieties, our burdens, and our suffering. It is the means whereby we can receive the faith, strength and hope to endure all things.