Sunday, February 24, 2013

"Lessons from Liberty Jail"

I first heard of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's address "Lessons from Liberty Jail" when it was in the Ensign a few years ago. It was the balm that my troubled soul needed, really the perspective the Lord knew I needed that I hadn't received until that point.  I'd had a hard time accepting messages from the scriptures, the brethren and loved ones that "bad things happen to good people", "You aren't living wrong and being punished with problems," and that "All these things shall work together for your good". I hated hearing things like that because I couldn't believe them, no matter how hard I tried. I saw in hindsight that it's not that I couldn't, but rather wouldn't believe, my heart and mind were not ready for that quite yet. The Spirit didn't have easy access to my heart because it was so hardened.  

But "Lessons from Liberty Jail" was one of those life changing talks, that was written and delivered in such a way that I couldn't not believe. I don't think I know or can remember why what this address said made it through when so many others before it did not, but it doesn't matter. After I read this address in the Ensign, I printed it off, highlighted my favorite parts and kept it in my desk drawer, where I've pulled it out of when I need encouragement to keep going. 


I got quite ill last week and with the weight of the troubles of the past few months, I was sinking further down the pit of despair. I consider it a divine signature that on my DVR was the "Lessons from Liberty Jail" CES Broadcast (given on Sept. 7, 2008). So on Wednesday, while crashed on the couch, I watched it. I've only read the address before, and watching it was so much more powerful. It's Elder Holland, so need I say more? The power that man has is incredible! 

The talk is about the winter of 1838-39 that Joseph Smith and a few others experienced in Liberty jail ,which were described by Joseph as the "malice of hell", but that eventually became what a "Prison-temple" experience. How could Liberty Jail be called a "temple"? Here are Elder Holland's words:

"As we think on these things, does it strike us that spiritual experience, revelatory experience, sacred experience can come to every one of us in all the many and varied stages and circumstances of our lives if we want it, if we hold on and pray on, and if we keep our faith strong through our difficulties? We love and cherish our dedicated temples and the essential, exalting ordinances that are performed there. We thank heaven and the presiding Brethren that more and more of them are being built, giving more and more of us greater access to them. They are truly the holiest, most sacred structures in the kingdom of God, to which we all ought to go as worthily and as often as possible.
"But tonight’s message is that when you have to, you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, let me say that even a little stronger: You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced.
"Every one of us, in one way or another, great or small, dramatic or incidental, is going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail—spiritually speaking.  But the lessons of the winter of 1838–39 teach us that every experience can become a redemptive experience if we remain bonded to our Father in Heaven through that difficulty. These difficult lessons teach us that man’s extremity is God’s opportunity, and if we will be humble and faithful, if we will be believing and not curse God for our problems, He can turn the unfair and inhumane and debilitating prisons of our lives into temples—or at least into a circumstance that can bring comfort and revelation, divine companionship and peace."

The following are the three lessons from Liberty Jail with my thoughts mixed in. Everything in italics are Elder Holland's own words:

1. Everyone faces trying times. "The first of these [lessons] is inherent in what I’ve already said—that everyone, including (and perhaps especially) the righteous, will be called upon to face trying times...But whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us."
I loved his next words, and it was in first reading them that I believed them to be true: 
"We are not alone in our little prisons here. When suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we’ve ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every such situation into a would-be temple."

2. Even the worthy will suffer. "We need to realize that just because difficult things happen—sometimes unfair and seemingly unjustified things—it does not mean that we are unrighteous or that we are unworthy of blessings or that God is disappointed in us." Jesus descended below all things, are we greater than He? No, we are not. In order for us to become like Him, of course we need to experience adversity as He did-though to a much smaller extent. It should be a matter of great doctrinal consolation that Jesus experienced all the heartache and sorrow of the entire family of man "in order that we would not have to face them so severely or so deeply." 
I hadn't thought of it that way before, so that we wouldn't have to face them so severely or deeply. 
"However heavy our load might be, it would be a lot heavier if the Savior had not gone that way before us and carried that burden with us and for us."

3. Remain calm, patient, charitable, and forgiving. "In the midst of these difficult feelings when one could justifiably be angry or reactionary or vengeful, wanting to return an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, the Lord reminds us from the Liberty Jail prison-temple that the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only [or “except”] upon the principles of righteousness...They remembered their covenants, they disciplined themselves, and they knew that we must live the gospel at all times, not just when it is convenient and not just when things are going well. Indeed, they knew that the real test of our faith and our Christian discipleship is when things are not going smoothly. 
"That is when we get to see what we’re made of and how strong our commitment to the gospel really is."

Do all things cheerfully. The Prophet Joseph wrote in Doctrine and Covenants 123: "Therefore...let us cheerfully do all thing that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." At the time he wrote this he didn't know when or even if he would be released, the Saints were suffering too. Yet in these cold, lonely hours Joseph says let us do all we can and do it cheerfully.  
"What a magnificent attitude to maintain in good times or bad, in sorrow or in joy!"


These words, this powerful message changed my perspective on my own challenges, about my life, about me, about the true nature of God. I no longer feel that I am experiencing adversity because I'm a bad person or not living right or that Heavenly Father has abandoned me. The Spirit testified and continues to testify to me that the lessons from Liberty Jail are true. I know that you aren't experiencing adversity because you are a bad person, and God has not abandoned you. I hope you know that too. If you need some help believing, give Elder Holland and the full "Lessons from Liberty Jail" a try.

Here's the link to the broadcast, which I suggest definitely watching:
And here's the Link to the written address:



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Sunday, February 17, 2013

For Good

I have been thinking a lot the past couple of weeks about what good I'm doing here in this life right now. I want to help others in this life, and be an influence for good, not for myself, but for the benefit of others. That is the purpose of this blog, one that Sarah and I consider a sacred obligation the Lord has entrusted to us.  But I have been questioning if I am actually being an influence for good, one that can be felt and is in turn helping others. I don't do it for recognition or applause, but to spread the love of God to others.  Sometimes I think we all have ambitions to do great things that will have an effect on a very grand scale. Think Mother Teresa or Gandhi. We want to change the world, instead of just affecting those in our social circle or city.  We feel useless when we compare our efforts and abilities to those who are well known the world over for their good deeds.
It is at these times I have to remember the scripture, "And thus we see that by small and simple means the Lord can bring about great things." 1 Nephi 16:29
Mother Teresa said "We can not all do great things. But we can do small things with great love." I believe that the small and simple things we do with great love do influence others, and that one good thing will trickle down from one person to another to another, creating a ripple effect that will influence thousands to millions of people. We may not see the fruits of our labors, but that does not mean that they aren't there.
I have thought about the song "For Good" from the play "Wicked" when it comes to this, especially because of some circumstances that occurred in my life the past 6 months.  The experience I speak of is personal and I will not go into great detail here, but I know I cannot express myself more adequately unless I explain some.  But first, in order to do so, here are the lyrics to "For Good" and a link so you can listen to it for yourself:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQJaZO2nfGg

GLINDA:
I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are lead to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun,
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.

ELPHABA:
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime.
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you'll have rewritten mine
By being my friend.

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird
In a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you...

GLINDA:
Because I knew you...

BOTH:
I have been changed for good.

ELPHABA:
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done,
You blamed me for.

GLINDA:
But then,
I guess,
We know there's blame to share.

BOTH:
And none of it seems to matter anymore.
Like a comet pulled from orbit
(Like a ship blown from its mooring)
As it passes a sun.
(By a wind off the sea)
Like a stream that meets a boulder
(Like a seed dropped by bird)
Halfway through the wood.
(In the wood)
Who can say if I've been changed for the better.
I do believe I have been changed for the better.

GLINDA:
And because I knew you...

ELPHABA:
Because I knew you...

BOTH:
Because I knew you
I have been changed...
For good.

Near the end of last summer my path crossed someone else's in a way that I have no doubt was orchestrated by the Lord. I got to know this person very well and spent a great deal of time with them. I had no idea how I got on this person's radar in the first place, but they told me it was because I was a good person who makes others want to be better, that I "make everything look easy," among other good things.  They saw me in a way that I often see myself but have a hard time believing.  This person made me want to be a better person and in certain ways brought out the best in me.
I felt a very strong pull towards this person in a way I can only describe as unexplainable and know that it came from Heavenly Father. This person was going through a hard time and didn't feel like a good person. I never doubted this person's goodness, not once. As a matter of fact, I knew they were extremely good because I had a significant experience early on in which the Lord told me that this person was good. I don't take that word lightly. Good was everything. I saw this persons divine potential more I think than they did, more than I have ever seen anyone else's.
This person said I was helping them "get back onto the straight and narrow." I believed more than I ever have in my life that I was in someones life for a specific purpose.  I never viewed them as a "project" or someone that I was trying to change. Everything I did and was was because I cared about them. All I did was be myself.
A few weeks ago my relationship with this person came to a close, which has been very hard but there in no bitterness in it. As it did come to a close, the pull I felt towards this person disappeared as quickly as it had come.  As I have been trying to come to terms with what happened and why, I have come to some conclusions.  Like the song says, I believe that both this person and I came into each other's lives for a reason, that we were lead to each other and both grew in return.  It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime, but part of me is made from what I learned from them, and I think they would say the same.
It was only after my bishop, Bishop Newton, talked today in church about our ability to influence for good that I felt completely at peace with the situation with the friend I talked about above. He said that we may never know the influence we have for good, but that doesn't mean in isn't there.  When we see the divine potential in others around us, we can help then rise to that potential. He suggested we think of when we are standing before the Lord in judgement and he opens in a vision of what influence we had on others throughout our lifetime. Imagine what we will learn of what really happened because of the "small things with great love" that we did.
I am eternally grateful that I had opportunity to have been changed for good.



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You are never alone

Let's face it, life is hard. Tough. Sometimes outright brutal. It is during those hard times that we often feel God has abandoned us, that He doesn't seem to care that we are suffering, sometimes mercilessly. We feel small and insignificant to Him, a father with an infinite number of children. He has so many, how can He really be paying attention to me?
I testify to you that He does know each of us, individually. He loves you unconditionally, and He cares about what you are going through more than you can even imagine. I know this because I have seen and felt his hand in my own life, especially during the challenging times. Those of you who know me well know that I have lived with chronic pain for 12 years, a daily trial that never sees relief.  To say that it has been H-E-double-hockey-sticks is a gross understatement. I admit that I went through times when I didn't think Heavenly Father was there or that He cared for me at all, that I was completely alone. I was angry, depressed, and about as bitter as someone could be. But through some turning points and opening my heart to Him, I recognized that He had been with me all along, in every single detail of the long, hard road called my life. There are still times where I feel down but I do not doubt that God knows me and has not left me comfortless.  He is always there for me.
I read an article on the Deseret News website about Al Fox, a young woman who converted to the LDS church in 2009. She has since started her own blog and produces videos that share her testimony. I want to share with you today a video of hers that expresses some of what I feel in my heart about us never being alone. I hope you enjoy it and that is speaks to your heart too. Thank you, Al Fox...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRjEMomhJdw



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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Unhappy? Release Your Inner Child and Play




Look at the pictures above.  Do you remember what life was like as a child when you hardly had any worries or concerns, heartbreak lasted only a few hours, you could run around all day long like the energizer bunny, and the cold and snow didn't bother you because you were playing in it with your best friends? When life seemed simpler and so care free? When you couldn't wait to grow up and be the best teacher, firefighter or actor there has ever been? When you felt like the best days were ahead or you as a "big person"?
I remember those days like a distant dream, and I long for them more often than I'd like to admit. Growing up ain't all it's made to be when we were kids. Sure, we get to move out of the house, make our own decisions and but whatever we want. But that right there is the hard part. We are now adults and that means we now are responsible for doing things our parents did that we didn't really think about as kids: paying the rent, making and preparing our own food, dealing with every aspect of life that we would love to just hire someone else to do.  And not only that, as we mature, our eyes finally see the real problems and evils in the world, which lend only more stress, worry and fear to our daily lives. We work, work, work, work and worry, worry, worry, which drains us of joy and energy we used to have in ample store. We become pessimists instead of optimists. Snow means dangerous roads and getting late to work, not enchanting white powder we can play and sled in.  
Steve Eaton of the Deseret News said this, and I couldn't agree more:
"It’s easy [as we get older] to see how we gain more inhibitions than Legos. When I was a real journalist working in a newsroom hundreds of years ago, cheerful people were told to go home and sleep it off. Life works us into rows, the traffic backs up and then soon it’s just one smog-filled day after the other. We couldn’t dance about outside even if we wanted to. We might breathe the air."
So true, right?!? RIGHT!!! Let's get out and dance in the rain, shall we?
So what do we do about it? I"ll tell you what I do about it. I make and take time to play. Yes, play. No matter how old we get, we all need to play. I'm a total 4-year-old at heart and on top of that get paid to play with children for a living, so you'd think that would be enough to get my "play time" in, eh? No way!! I may play five out of seven days a week, but I need to let loose like I did when I was a kid, letting go of inhibitions and just doing whatever my heart desires. We need to work, yes, but we also need to take time for a little thing called recreation. Fun. Play. All of the above!!!  If we don't allow ourselves-yes allow-play we don't have balance in our lives and that will only dim our lights faster.  
So go out and have some fun! Don't know what to do? What's the first thing that comes to your mind? Whatever it is, JUST DO IT! Do something on the fly, right now if you can. If not, plan for it and then DO IT.  
I had some great play time in the past month, and it has refreshed me physically, socially and emotionally. At the time I had some issues at home that were weighing heavy upon my heart and mind and needed some distance and distraction. Fortunately I had been booked for a one-week cruise and it couldn't have come at a more opportune time.  I'd never cruised before and was anxious about it, but by the second day I was comfortable, and by the end didn't want to leave! I was able to let go of the issues and problems that awaited me back home, make lots of new friends and soak up warmth and sun that replenished my always achy body. It was adult play, pure and simple: zip-lining, snorkeling, dancing, shopping. I rode in an open jeep over a beautiful island in the sun and rain, enjoying each second as the wind whipped through my face and hair, not even caring that my hair was a completely ratted mess. Oh the freedom I felt! How good it felt to swim in the crystal clear, warm ocean waters, even though I got stung by a jellyfish. So wonderful and SOOOO needed.
                                                

                                             

A few days after I got home I got to play even more when my friends and I held a 'Big Kid Party', which means just what it says, a party where we let ourselves be kids again. We had kid food from goldfish to cookies and milk; cartoons ('Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers' anyone?); coloring books; Lincoln Logs-yes they still make them!; Legos; and other games we had from childhood. I went nuts. Absolutely NUTS!!! If a stranger had walked into my house they would have thought I was 1) completely ditsy or 2) high on something. I pranced about the living room like a 4-year-old, not caring what I looked or sounded like. I was most happy because I was with my closest friends.



                                 It was a night of total joy that left us refreshed and simply happy :)

And last weekend I got to play with my Grant family at our annual winter party at my uncle's cabin...snowmobiling baby!!!!! I LOVE snowmobiling!!! I was so excited to get out of the smoggy valley and into the crisp mountain air and zip around in a wide open field at 50-60 miles an hour on one of the greatest machines ever made. In our family we don't just ride snowmobiles, we catch Frisbees and footballs, pull tubes and do, as the men call it, "Time trials" to beat the clock from one end of the field to the other. The exhilaration you feel slicing through open powder can only be compared, in book, to galloping on a horse. Oh the FREEDOM!!!



 It was a weekend with family, and that's what really made it so great. I got to play with the people who mean the most to me in my life, and I enjoyed every minute I could. 

So while life goes on the daily grind grinds you down, take the time to play. Plop into the snow and make a snow angel, dance in the rain, sing aloud to your favorite song with your windows down in the car, play with a nephew or niece, take a day trip, watch a Disney movie or whatever it is that makes you feel joy the way you did when you were young. God wants you to be productive and successful, but above all He wants you to be happy. So go ahead, release your inner child. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them Robyn says it's okay :)



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Thursday, February 7, 2013

Trust in Him

Wow, it has been a very crazy month! I have had so many experiences that have been both overwhelming and an answer to my prayers all at the same time. First off, I have been dating a young man, who I thought in the beginning, was my Mr. Right. But, as we continued to date and as I continued to get to know him, I realized that we both wanted different things. For starters, I am not sure he truly even wants to be in a relationship. I realized he was being selfish and only thinking of himself, not making me one of his top priorities. He was more concerned about his material things than he was in building a strong relationship. It was through dating him that I realized I was looking for all of the wrong things. I wanted somebody who was done with school and who I knew could provide for me. Of course I wanted someone who could make me laugh and the happiest person on Earth. Someone who would do whatever they could to spend time with me and learn and grow together in unity. But, my focus was on the wrong things. So, as I have prayed and pondered these things, an old boyfriend kept popping into my mind. Finally I called him up and asked him out to frozen yogurt. Things went incredibly well and I realized that in a year and half since dating him, I have grown through experience and have learned so much. Matthew treats me like a princess. He wants to do whatever he can to make me happy. He is incredibly easy to talk to and can make me laugh. He does whatever he can to make time for me, even in his busy life. He makes me feel special and treats me like I am the daughter of a King. He is all of the things I want in my future spouse and I know that with him, we can grow as one in unity.
Matthew only lives 8 minutes away from my work. This is such a blessing since we work completely opposite of one another on most days. I am also blessed with flexible lunches, so I head to his house to eat. We make time for one another. There is effort from both ends and this is the way a relationship is supposed to work. We both want to make the time and we DO make the time to see each other as often as we can! I am just lucky that he is still around after a year and a half!

I am so grateful for the hard things in life that make us stronger, the challenges that make us better people. I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and the knowledge I have that I can go to Him in time of need. He guides and directs me and knows the experiences I must have in order to understand things of the future. I am so happy now and I know that things will work out.

"But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen" (1Nephi 9:6)

Learn from the HARD things in life and move forward a STRONGER person with a GOOD attitude! 



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Monday, February 4, 2013

Book Review: Making Sense of Suffering

Here's our first Book of the Month Review! This month's book: Making Sense of Suffering, by Wayne E. Brickey. I LOVE this book!!!


My grandmother gave this book to my mom and our family after my grandfather passed away as a gesture of thanks and consolation. Little did she or we know that she'd given us a gift to help us mourn her own death when she passed away from cancer only three months later.  Just thinking about that time makes me tear, it was very, very H.A.R.D. HARD.
I didn't start read Making Sense of Suffering until a couple of months ago.  Brickey organizes his book into four main sections: The Gift of Growth, Endure it Well, Beneath Watchful Eyes and God Shall Exalt Thee. Each section has several chapters, only a few pages long, which are little vignettes that can be read and taken alone. I really liked this format because I could read one or more sections a day that I was pulled towards and could skip from one to another as I pleased. It just so happened that I started reading the book when some particular events were happening in my life that I needed a lot of perspective on. Making Sense of Suffering far fulfilled every need I had for insight in chapters that I wouldn't have expected. Each of these chapters are truly jewels for the heart and mind.
Here are a few gems Brickey offers in his book:

"Trouble is an essential part of the plan of salvation for the same reason that buildings require a foundation.  The base we build in this life stays with us ever after.  Preparing to meet God is deep work. Perhaps finishing touches can be added later, but the foundation, including patience and cheer, must be set early." ~Pg. 13

"Some of our present circumstances may reflect previous agreements, now forgotten, but once freely made." ~Pg. 30

"Our worth is related to our potential for everlasting happiness. It is a big mistake to assign worth to one's self or another based on anything less...Joy in the private experience of a soul is the one treasure that must not be neglected and cannot be replaced." ~Pg. 77

"Constant, intense pain is a great consecrating purifier that humbles us and draws us closer to God's Spirit." ~Pg. 85

"[God's] chastening alters us, as the stone made precious by the agonies of nature or as gold refined by excruciating heat.  What only glittered with possibility before is made glorious after. Pure gold is sometimes a symbol for the celestial, but it is just a symbol. The purified life is the real thing. And the Great Refiner personally supervises our transformation." ~Pg. 85

You'll have to read the book yourself to get the full effect and perspective it so readily gives.  I recommend Making Sense of Suffering for everyone, no matter what your past or present circumstances may be, even if you are not going through deep suffering such as a serious illness or loss of a loved one. I have no doubt it can deliver comfort and insight to all.



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